Show them they matter

Hug them every day. Every day. Listen to them, don't cut them off and interupt. They're always watching and learning, even if it doesn't appear that they are. They're watching. And listening. Give them a hug everyday, hugs. Even when they've been "bad". Especially then. I recall brief moments when the boys are simply being boys and they do something and get in trouble, some terribly minor infraction of the "rules". So they get a time out or lose a privilege or something. Big deal. Get that out of the way, hug them and move on with the day. Sometimes they'll need to drag it out too  long, but nice when they can let it be as well. Just hug the kid, tell them you love them every day. It matters.