a parent's pride

I'm always proud of my children. I tell them often, be it from doing their math correctly, apologizing when they've done something they shouldn't have, cleaning their room, doing any little minor thing that shows their inner strength and character, anything. But truth is, I'm simply proud of them, always, because they are my sons. They don't have to do anything to earn that. I'm just naturally proud of them. They are truly phenomenal children, phenomenal persons. I don't know if this is from parenting so much. Maybe to an extent. A lot is just the fact that they are truly blessed individuals. Nature, nurture, whatever. Amazing little creatures.

fathers and sons

The bond of father and son, such a fascinating dynamic. Strong meets vulnerable. Times have changed so many - or most - fathers today are far more hands-on than the prior generation. In my boys, I see their mother, my own mother, their uncles - especially my own brother, and I see myself. It's so very fascinating. You want your son to grow up strong, and brave, and honest, with the utmost of character compassion and leadership and dignity and kindness. You want all these things for your son - both sons, in my case. These are things a father must show and not tell. A son watches his father. It's a bit debilitating to think this small person is looking to me for how to behave and think and act. But they are. And same as everything, it's the small things - the casual thank yous, the warm show of affection, the kindness, the patience. It's always the little things that strengthen the wonderful bond of father and son.

weekend, special weekend

Being a working dad, weekends should be and are special. Some are special because of something great or meaningful or extraordinary you've done. Just as phenomenal are the rather ordinary days. The kind of day that you tell a friend what an amazing weekend you've had and they say, oh really, how so and you really don't have a whole lot to say, other it was simply amazing. Simple and amazing, thus simply amazing. Those are intense and divine and soothing and so beautiful. Laughter, stories, softness and love. That's a weekend.

a dad's baseless fears

It takes a totally neurotic lunatic to be a father, I swear. Or maybe that's just me. Every day, every hour I can't help but worry about the most ridiculous things. Don't run in the house, babe, you might fall. Walk slowly down the steps, you might trip and crack your skull and break your teeth and arm and both legs. Don't hit the ball so hard. Chew your food all the way. Don't drink that so quickly. Don't do that. Don't go there. Be careful. Don't move. Exhausting. My job is to protect them. I try. And at 5 and 7 they've never had a serious malfunction or catastrophe. But I live in fear nonetheless. My boys are perfection and I need them to be safe. Still, that fear should remain a father's fear, not the children's. A dad must be extra careful so that the kids can be kids. Gotta cut the cord one of these days. Easier said than done.